Reflective Essay

Writing on my blog page has been a new way for me to learn to write this quarter.  Blogging is similar to writing typical English papers, but when you really think about it they have their differences. A typical English paper has one main focus and doesn’t really show the inner writer of the person. With a blog post a person can express their inner selves and focus on many things in their writing. For example when I blog I mainly focus on one topic.  I also get off topic but I quickly get back. This first quarter has really been nice. It had been my first time writing on a blog. I actually get to use my creative voice instead of my regular English paper voice. In my blogs I talk bout a range of things but one thing that I really talk about is the surgery I had this quarter. That topic takes up majority of my blogs. In that specific topic I express my feelings I ha towards the hospital and the surgery; my pains that were unbearable at times and minor at others; and my surroundings that put a little fear in me but not enough to scare me all the way. Blogging this experience was like writing a descriptive essay. This whole topic, with limited details, took up five of my blogs.  This quarter has been a difficult one, I was out for two weeks and I missed a lot of school and school work which really affected my life in a way that I did not like at all. When I first learned that we would be blogging, the first thought that came to my mind was, “Wow this class will be the easiest class ever” little did I know that I would be missing school and not be able to blog for a couple of weeks. While I was in the hospital, the only thing I could think about, besides the fact that I was in pain, was my blogging and my homework. My mother was the one who suggested that I blog about my experiences with my pains, surgery, pain killers, tests, and the recovery.

When the night nurse came into the room they gave me my first IV and connected it to some kind of fluid. The nurse asked me how bad my pain was on a scale of zero to ten, when zero was not at all and ten the worst of all. I told the doctor that I was at about an eight, so they injected 2ml of morphine into me. Slowly but shortly the pain left me and I was feeling a little better then I was before. On the scale I was about a four. The doctor soon came after the nurse and she pressed on my stomach and asked me where the pain was, I told her that it was on my abdominal pelvic area. When she was done pressing on my tummy she was telling me that she thought I had an appendicitis and I would have to drink two tubs of this drink that would light up my stomach when I had the CAT scan later.   

    I sat at my computer looking at the screen waiting for an idea to come to me. This is something I do before I write a blog. Other times I have to get up and walk around, let the blood flow through my body before I can actually get an idea. My inspirations for writing my blog posts come from all of my surroundings; all of the people in my life, along with my experiences like “An Unforgettable Time”.
My mother is one of my great inspirations to my blog posts. She helps me with all my writers’ blocks and when I just need ideas. I was in the hospital so I did not do a great deal of blogging like my class mates. Ever since I have been blogging I think about things more. When I am doing something, I think about it to see if it is something I could put on my blog. Because of blogging I was able to put up a poem I did “You Will Never Be Incorporated”, and get a little bit of feedback about it. I am more open with my writing now and I can easily write a blog, I used to have great difficulties with them. Doing the blogs have opened up my range on things that I view. When I take a look at something I will notice little details about it that someone else didn’t see when they looked at it. Incorporating these little details in the blogs or papers adds a lot more depth and clarity to that paper or that blog.

There was one time when I was at my house sitting down on my living room floor preparing to write a blog, my neighbor was over  and he watched me type up one of my blogs. He looked and did not recognize what I was doing, so being curious he asked me. I told him that I was blogging. He had no clue what blogging was so I explained to him what it was. Now he tells me that he has a blog of his own, he says he would prefer to blog for his school instead of write a formal essay. I introduced blogging to someone and now they blog. He gets to experience what I experience when I blog, instead of how I feel when I write an essay that I dread.

Overall, in my eyes my writing in this class has not yet improved to meet the standards that my mother and I have. I know for a fact that I could do better then what I have done this quarter. I just post blogs to get a good grade in this class just like some of my peers at school. I will not do that in the up coming quarter because I want to post something that will make people have to think about what I just wrote. When I think about it, I know that I will do better in the future, I will put forth more of an effort. I want people to have to really think about what I say. I want one of my blogs to be the topic of a discussion in class the next day. I want to have people commenting on my posts more frequently than they have already. I think that weekly blogs have positive sides and negative sides to them. A negative thing is people repeat what they say and they just put stuff up just for the good grade, even if it doesn’t make sense. A positive thing is people get to write what is on their mind and get the experience of daily writing.

Continued from An Unforgetable Time

After being questioned and tested, i was wheeled into another room on my bed.  I had to change out of my clothes into the hospital clothes and it was a great challenge to move so like a little kid my mother had to help me. When i was done changing, the doctors who would be doing my surgery came into the room and questioned me again. Another nurse came to check my blood pressure and he did something with my IV. I was high off of the drugs so when he did something wrong with the IV and my blood started to drip onto the floor making a pool of blood, and got onto the white covers the only thing i could do and say was, "Oh no, I'm bleeding" while holding my arm up with the little strength i had. The blood got cleaned up a little later and i went into the bathroom to go to the bathroom before i went into surgery.

When i got back to my room, I climbed into my bed and i was wheeled to the surgery floor where it was freezing cold, we went through many doors and over many painful bumps on the floor. When we got to our stop we waited outside the room and the doctor told me what would happen next and not to be scared. I was left in the hallway with my mother and she just started crying. I did not understand it but she told me that she did not want me to have to go through this. She kissed me and we prayed, she told me she would be down stairs waiting while i was in surgery. I was wheeled into a very cold room, transferred onto the operating bed and had very warm blankets placed on me. I laid in the middle of all this equipment and  just looked around and saw a whole lot of faces. They said i would have another Iv placed onto me but they would do it when i was under the anaesthesia. My butt was placed in this little dip in the bed and my arms were spread in an A kind of shape. People were all around me talking, the only thing i could focus on was the man putting the anaesthesia over my face. I soon fell into a deep blank sleep. Not the kind of sleep where people dream but the kind of sleep where everything is black.

When I woke up I was in another room with two women and a whole bunch of equipment again. I had successfully gone through the surgery. I laid there for a second trying to figure out where i was, and why i was connected to so many machines. The lady soon saw that i was awake and came over to me smiling saying that i was okay. I tried to talk but my throat was hurting to bad. i pointed to my throat and one of the ladies explained to me that they stuck a tube down my throat and i would have sore throat for a while. They unhooked me from all of the machines and wheeled me into my recovery room. The only thing  could say was, can you go get my mother, and a few minutes later my mother came into the room and gave me a big hug. She took a seat next to my bed and just looked at me with a huge smile on her face. A few minutes later i had to go to the bathroom, so i called my nurse in and she helped me out of the bed and had me hold the pole that my IV was connected to. I slowly walked to the bathroom without knowing that i had no underwear on and i had something on my stomach. I was about to use the  bathroom when the lady said i had to pee in a cup so they could get some tests, so i did. When i was done and i got back to my bed, my mom started laughing and i asked her what was funny and she told me that my butt was hanging out of my gown. I quickly covered up my butt and asked for some underwear.

I got them and my nurse helped me put them on. A little later my doctor came in and checked on me, gave me some pictured and said that the surgery went very well. When she left I guess i went to sleep because I opened my eyes and my cousin was standing by my bedside looking at me. I did not know that she worked there but i was happy because she gave me some food. I had a Popsicle. cherry flavored jello, nasty broth that i never finished and crackers. I watched television until they said i could go and walk around for a while. So i got up and i walked around my floor and saw a lot of sick people. I was bent over like an old woman because i could not stand up straight. When i got back to my room I watched television until they said i could go home which was around two in the afternoon again. My mom went to get the car and i had to get dressed alone which was a great challenge. I sat on my bed when i was dressed and ready to go, until another lady cam into my room to get me. This time i was wheeled out on a wheel chair and it was  fun. I got to my car and i crouched over and walked over to my car. I sat on the seat and rested as we drove. We got home and i sat on the couch and rested.

My mom woke me up so that i could eat, we and spicy Chinese food, it was delicious. During the time i was at my house i sat on the couch and slept on the couch. My mom made me walk around a few times and get things for her and myself. One day my PE teacher Mr. Susa came by to drop off posters that my lovely school mates made for me and some chocolate. I had my brother and sister hold up the poster so i could read it and my mother said i could not have any of the chocolate, so i gave them some and made sure to save some for myself later on. I missed going to school and all of my friends, so i onky stayed home for a week on no pain medications and i was fine. I returned to school a week after my surgery but i had to be careful, and i had to wear my belly brace at all times. This is a time i will never forget.

Continued from An Unforgetable Time

I already had an idea that they should not get that big, but i just sat and listened. When they were done talking to me about this they gave me and my mother two options, option one was i could get it surgically removed, option two was i could leave and be put on medications while they watched it to see if i would shrink or grow. My mother did not want me to get the surgery, she talked it over with my father on the phone and they decided that we would just watch it to see what happened. I guess i was still on the morphine because i was moving around perfectly fine and i could walk and kick and i felt no pain. Because of that they sent me home with vicadin and another minor pain medication, because I could not have morphine outside of the hospital. When i left the hospital it was about two in the afternoon. Me and my mom were very hungry so we got some food and went back to my house. The doctor said if i felt anymore severe pains that i should come back to the hospital for the surgery. At that moment i had no pain at all and i felt like i was on top of the world. When my dad got home he made jokes saying that i was only trying to get some attention and that i was not in any pain. We all laughed at that and went on with our lives.
This was a Thursday, and on Thursdays I have to go and coach my cheerleaders. Because i said i was feeling okay I tagged along and went to practice with my family. When we got there I was feeling a little pains but i did not say a word about it. I sat down fro a minute, then i told my mom that my stomach was hurting.  She asked me how bad it was hurting on a scale of zero to ten, i said about a six or seven. The other coaches walked over to me and my mom and said that i should go home if I'm not feeling well. My best friend came and gave me a hug and i just started crying because i was in a very uncomfortable pain. I took a vicadin but it did not work for me, so me and my mother went home and left my dad, little brother and little sister at the park. When i got home i sat on my couch that rocks and i out the heating pad over my belly and rocked until i went back to sleep. When i woke up my aunt was sitting next to me just looking at me. I was still in a lot of pain just like before, I'm guessing the morphine wore off. I could not get in a comfortable position and o kept on moving side to side, turning over and i could not stay still because o the pains. So my aunt left and my mom packed her bags with books and magazines, we were on our way to the hospital at eleven o' clock on Thursday night. When we got to the hospital I went through the same procedure i did the first time i was there the night before.
This time i could not even sit down in the chair. The night nurse that i had the night before cam in to check on me because when he left me the night before i was doing fine. He had a sad look on his face like he could feel my pain. I could tell he was sad that i was back, he asked my mom what was wrong and came and talked to me a little later. I laid in the bed still moving because of the pains. The nurses asked me a bunch of questions like if i was sexually active and if i smoked and if i drank. They put another IV into my arm and placed about six warm white blanket over me.

Continued on to next blog

Continued From An Unforgetable Time

After my wonderful time in the CAT scan room, I got transferred back to my regular bed and one of my nurses rolled me back into my room. When I got back to my room i laid there for a while with my parents and watched television while they injected another 2mL of morphine into me for my pains.A little later another doctor came into my room and she pressed on my stomach to see where my pain was, I told her that my pain was low, so she pressed on it and examined my belly. A man came into the room with a big machine saying that he needed to give me an x-ray, i don't remember much about that because I was drugged up. But i do remember being in my room laying there waiting, i dosed off into sleep. It seemed like i was sleep for about two minutes before i was woken up by the doctor. The doctor told me and my parents that i did not have an appendicitis, but they found a cyst on my left ovary. They were not completely sure if it was  a cyst so they would have to check. I did not know what they were talking about so i just sat there.

 But later they wheeled me out on my bed to another the same floor as before with the CAT scan, but this time i did not get a CAT scan. Because they wanted to see inside my uterus which was under my bladder, they had to give me an ultra sound. They said i needed a full bladder in order for them to be able to see through to my ovary. So i sat there for about twenty minutes having to urinate but having to hold it. The gel she put on my belly felt good when she rubbed it around.  She took several picture of my insides and she said that because i had a full bladder she was able to get great pictures. As soon as i was done there i got up and ran into the bathroom to go to the bathroom (at that time i could run). I felt like a little kid because m mommy had to go into the bathroom with me just in case something happened to me. 

When i was done with doing my business, i got back into my bed and was wheeled back up to my room where i sat there for a long while. My dad had to leave to go and take my brother and sister to school, by that time it was about six o' clock in the morning. I guess i went to sleep after he left because when i woke up my room was full of unfamiliar faces of women. There were OBGYNs in my room and female doctors who specialized in reproductive systems. They informed me of my over sized cyst, which was 7cm, and they told me that it is normal for a woman to get cysts but they should not grow to be that big.

Continued to next blog.

NIght Essay

Night is a true story based on a man who went through the Holocaust, he survived it and is still living at this time. In the story by Elie Wiesel who is also the main character, he encounters many conflicts as is moved from place to place throughout that time. With these conflicts there comes character versus character, character versus society, and character versus self, these are challenges that he thinks he will not be able to overcome, but proving himself wrong he still lives. Elie conflicts with his thoughts and actions of him and others as he survives the times of the holocaust.

In the story Ellie has many conflicts with himself, he doesn’t know if he is sure of what he used to be confident in. He has conflicts with himself because of his current thoughts running through his mind. He questions his faith and doesn’t believe that he has a strong of a faith as he did before all hell came down on them. HE is not sure that the God they are serving actually cares about them, because of what him and his family are going through. “For the first time, I felt revolt rise up in me. Why should I bless his name? The Eternal, Lord of the universe, the all Powerful and Terrible, was silent. What had I to thank him for?” (31). As shown in this quote he is slowly losing his faith because of the brutal position at the camps he is put in. Losing his faith, he slowly begins to question if there really is a God up there watching over him and his people. He sees the other men spending every waking hour praying to God, and he is not even sure f there is really a God up there to pray to so he doesn’t know what to do so he works and listens to what he is told to do.

When Elie is taken from his hometown just to go into a ghetto and later into a dreadful concentration camp. The other characters had either major or minor conflicts with Elie that were dealt with in a manner that was not appealing to some but amusing to others some of the people found it terrifying and horrible. one day while at work Elie saw some commotion off in a corner, in that corner there was a man getting beat almost to death, it was his father. “Suddenly his frenzy broke out. The victim was my father, ‘You lazy old devil!’ And he began to beat him with an iron bar” (52). He witnessed his father get beat for so long that, like a tree he split in half. This is a perfect example of character versus character, and he didn’t even stand up or protect his father he just sat and watched like the other bystanders who had no connection to him.

In the concentration camps they treated the Jews as if they were on a status lower then an animal. In their eyes the Jews were not even humans, they were just people who worked for them and who they beat at any given time. There was some character versus society moments in the story. In one part the story they were all running and he had to avoid getting hit from the superior figures. He ran in the middle of the group so the men on the outside could get hit with the whips and truncheons. “Ten gypsies had come and joined our supervisor. Whips and truncheons cracked around me.my feet were running without me being aware of it. i tried to hide from the blows behind others” (37). The society in which he grew up in compared to the one in this camp is without a doubt completely different. He gets beat when something is done that he didn’t even do, and his little sister didn’t do it, a complete stranger did it.

Elie is put through hell on earth. HE has begun to question whether he has a strong faith and he began to wonder if there was even a God up there and why he would let him and his people go through such a little He got into conflicts with other men there, the leaders and he even witnessed his dad get beat half to death. He didn’t do a thing about it besides watch all this brutality happen. He was conflicted by his thoughts and actions, the actions of others were some of the things that helped him to survive and dodge trouble while in the camps.